Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
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