What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
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