What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
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