What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
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