Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
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