How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
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