It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
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