My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
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