A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
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