How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
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