An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
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