What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
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