What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
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