What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Go to BabaMail
