What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
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