Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Goat milk?
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
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