Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
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