How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Go to BabaMail
