How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
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