Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
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