Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
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