What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
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