What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
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