Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
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