Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
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