How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
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