What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
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