Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
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