Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Go to BabaMail
