Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
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