What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
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