What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
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