If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
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