Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
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