To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
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