Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
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