What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
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