Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
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