Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
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