What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
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