A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
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