What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
---
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
Go to BabaMail
