Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
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