What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
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