What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
Whatever floats your goat.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
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