What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
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