What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
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