What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Go to BabaMail
