I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Go to BabaMail
