He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
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