Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
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