What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
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