What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
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