What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
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