Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
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