Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
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