All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Goat milk?
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
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