What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
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