What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
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