Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
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