What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
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