Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
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