A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
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