A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
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