When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
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