Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
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