How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
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