What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
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