The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
My fat parrot escaped from its cage... To be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders!
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
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