What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
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