What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
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