How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
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