What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
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