What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
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