A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
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