Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
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