What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
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