Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
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