The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
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