The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
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