Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
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