How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
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