What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
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