Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
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