What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
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