Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
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