What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
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