Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
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