I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
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