What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
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