Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
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