What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
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