What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
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