Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
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