Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
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