I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
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