Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
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