Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
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