What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
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