How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
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