Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Whatever floats your goat.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
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