What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Go to BabaMail
