What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
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