Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
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