What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
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