Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
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