Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Go to BabaMail
