What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
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