Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Goat milk?
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
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