A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
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