I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
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