Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
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