Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
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