What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
I like you, you croc my world.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
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