What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
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