What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
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