I like you, you croc my world.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
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