Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Something’s goat to give.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
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